Bar Stool Review of GIGANTIC

Ramblings: Gig-Antics

Final Proof: 2½ Shots

You know how you drink with a weird drunk? He goes off on this rambling story about his daily life which is not surprisingly unsurprising but just when you figure out where he's going with his monologue he drops an ice cube in your beer. Like he starts talking about how he's found a black grass bug in every bottle of Blue Moon he's ever bought. Or how he's haunted by a little boy wearing a bright red banyan that only comes out when he's taking a dump. And then he goes back to talking about vegetable shopping or the girl that turned him down at the pay phone near the cigarette machine. You can never really figure him out and that kinda gets up your nose but at the same time it makes him more interesting than anyone else in the bar. Gigantic is like that.

Gigantic was a little over my head, to tell you the truth, but i liked it anyway. The story was pretty cut and dry but there were aspects of it that were so out of joint that they had to be there for a reason. Like metaphors and stuff. i hate it when i can't figure out metaphor. At least the film was a truly indie film (Paul Dano himself is one of the executive producers) and truly quirky compared to the pseudo-alternative 500 Days of Summer. Not as cute or funny as Juno or Little Miss Sunshine, Gigantic is certainly weirder---closer, in fact, to Donnie Darko. Now, if i could only care enough about the film to want to see it again and figure the weird crap out.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 3 Shots

The three shots here are all filled by a brief, distant and too-dark scene of Zooey Deschanel (almost 30) topless in her panties on a diving board. Even without that and her appearance in a black teddy where her cute little moon cheeks wax out the back, Zooey is still fun as hell to look at. She's got this natural brewed charm that Lowie lights up the screen like a mellow beer buzz and makes her one of life's simple pleasures to just watch.

Apart from a scene with three guys in a massage parlor with mini Arabian tents pitched over their poles, the 'sex' in this movie was limited to the cuteness of the actresses and not what they did with it.

For example, there were some all to brief scenes with Leven Rambin (19):

In the minor role of Happy Lolly's (Zooey Deschanel) sister, Melanie, we're treated to Susan Misner (38), who does a good job with the 'C' word.

While John Goodman is cool as all get out in his role of Happy's father, i'm not gonna post any pictures of his speedo getting tsunamied by his tidal belly. Instead, we get a few Paul Dano (25) shots for those of you of the female persuasion who've wandered in today.

Drink: 1 Shot



One tall shot, like the shot glass Happy feeds Brian Weathersby (Dano) vodka shots from.

Here's the rum down of my notes.

• Wine in a carafe at a fancy French meal
• Bottle of Chateau Margaux at [another] lunch
• Harriet drinks imported beer with a delivery guy named Octavio
• Champagne toast at an adoption shower

Rock & Roll: 0 Shots

There's some soft, breathy folk songs and the rap that Brian listens to in his headphones in the opening sequence but nothing other than that.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Matt Aselton and Adam Nagata

Directed by: Matt Aselton

Starring

Zooey Deschanel - Harriet 'Happy' Lolly

Susan Misner - Melanie Lolly

Leven Rambin - Missy Thaxton

Paul Dano - Brian Weathersby

John Goodman - Al Lolly

Bottom Line

Not worth seeing in the movies but a good rental if you're intrigued.

A Bar Stool Review of: WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

i saw Where The Wild Things Are with the director, Spike Jonze, and the lead kid, Max Records:

Let The Wild Rumpus Start

Final Proof: 4 Shots

You know sometimes you drink alone? When it's that time of night, when the music is just right and you're as low as the lights the reminiscences visit like familiar ghosts who want to know if you can come out, come out, wherever you are. You chain smoke your cigarettes and play hide and seek with your soul, feeling around the hole where your innocence lived before you lost it, and it aches like a cowboy & indians war wound that throbs when the rain goes away or comes again another day. Then, for a moment as fleeting as a lunch box dessert, you are young again with all of the fierce goodness, the ripe immaturity, the painful joy of childhood. Until suddenly it's gone, like a birthday candle in a hurricane. That's what Where The Wild Things Are is like.

Where The Wild Things Are is a beautiful movie.

i gotta give credit to Spike Jonze and David Eggers for pulling off the screenplay as well as they did. There are feelings the book only hints at and when you see them onscreen, you understand things maybe Maurice Sendak didn't even see himself. i get this movie in a profound way. i felt what Spike Jonze meant. Where The Wild Things Are is a movie that reaches out and touches you in ways you forgot you could feel.

Here, i'm tempted to go into detail about the symbolism and the message and the characters but that isn't important at all. What is is important is that i can take my twelve-year-old to see this and she won't 'understand' everything that i did but she'll sense it and probably know what's going on even better than i do. Because Where The Wild Things Are is a treat for everyone to appreciate.

Thank you, Spike.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 0 Shots

Unless you have a fetish for big fat hairy men and women, there's no sex here. No big surprise when you consider this was based on a freakin' kids' book. So, am i gonna leave you high and dry? You know me better than that.

To begin with, Catherine Keener is in this movie. i think i first noticed her in 40 Year Old Virgin and found her very attractive. Then, while not a sexy role, she rocked as a hippy Alex Supertramp meets on the road in Into The Wild. Anyway, she's got the coolest voice, like smoke over a razor blade, just on the right edge of raspy, and i'll give you a shot on the house if you can name any woman hotter than her at age 50 (!). The proof is in my pudding:

And then we get Lauren Ambrose ('member her from "Six Feet Under"?) who is a 'wild thing'.

For the women out there who patronize me, Paul Dano was a wild thing. He may not be as wild as Lauren Ambrose, but if you like twinks and geeks:

Mark Ruffalo also made a brief appearance as The Boyfriend:

Drink: 0 Shots

Mom (Catherine Keener) and Boyfriend (Mark Ruffalo) share a bottle of red wine before dinner. It may not sound like much but remember, it's more than Twilight 2: New Moon.

Homegrown Photo

Rock & Roll: 2 Shots

Ok, what we got here isn't really rock but still, it's acoustic that can approach rowdy at times. i think the thing i like best about it is that Karen O and the Kids' soundtrack sniffs that same line that runs between kid stuff and adult stuff that the movie does.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by:

Maurice Sendak (book)
Spike Jonze & Dave Eggers (screenplay)

Directed by: Spike Jonze

Starring:

Max Records - Max
Catherine Keener - Mom
Lauren Ambrose - KW (voice)
Paul Dano - Alexander (voice)
Mark Ruffalo - The Boyfriend

Bottom Line
See it and then see it again.