Saturday, January 9, 2010

Bar Stool Review of GIGANTIC


Ramblings: Gig-Antics

Final Proof: 2½ Shots



You know how you drink with a weird drunk? He goes off on this rambling story about his daily life which is not surprisingly unsurprising but just when you figure out where he's going with his monologue he drops an ice cube in your beer. Like he starts talking about how he's found a black grass bug in every bottle of Blue Moon he's ever bought. Or how he's haunted by a little boy wearing a bright red banyan that only comes out when he's taking a dump. And then he goes back to talking about vegetable shopping or the girl that turned him down at the pay phone near the cigarette machine. You can never really figure him out and that kinda gets up your nose but at the same time it makes him more interesting than anyone else in the bar. Gigantic is like that.

Gigantic was a little over my head, to tell you the truth, but i liked it anyway. The story was pretty cut and dry but there were aspects of it that were so out of joint that they had to be there for a reason. Like metaphors and stuff. i hate it when i can't figure out metaphor. At least the film was a truly indie film (Paul Dano himself is one of the executive producers) and truly quirky compared to the pseudo-alternative 500 Days of Summer. Not as cute or funny as Juno or Little Miss Sunshine, Gigantic is certainly weirder---closer, in fact, to Donnie Darko. Now, if i could only care enough about the film to want to see it again and figure the weird crap out.

Buzz Kills (Watch Out for Spoilers)

Sex: 3 Shots


The three shots here are all filled by a brief, distant and too-dark scene of Zooey Deschanel (almost 30) topless in her panties on a diving board. Even without that and her appearance in a black teddy where her cute little moon cheeks wax out the back, Zooey is still fun as hell to look at. She's got this natural brewed charm that Lowie lights up the screen like a mellow beer buzz and makes her one of life's simple pleasures to just watch.











Apart from a scene with three guys in a massage parlor with mini Arabian tents pitched over their poles, the 'sex' in this movie was limited to the cuteness of the actresses and not what they did with it.

For example, there were some all to brief scenes with Leven Rambin (19):









In the minor role of Happy Lolly's (Zooey Deschanel) sister, Melanie, we're treated to Susan Misner (38), who does a good job with the 'C' word.



While John Goodman is cool as all get out in his role of Happy's father, i'm not gonna post any pictures of his speedo getting tsunamied by his tidal belly. Instead, we get a few Paul Dano (25) shots for those of you of the female persuasion who've wandered in today.







A Smoke

Drink: 1 Shot



One tall shot, like the shot glass Happy feeds Brian Weathersby (Dano) vodka shots from.

Here's the rum down of my notes.
  • Wine in a carafe at a fancy French meal
  • Bottle of Chateau Margaux at [another] lunch
  • Harriet drinks imported beer with a delivery guy named Octavio
  • Champagne toast at an adoption shower
A Smoke

Rock & Roll: 0 Shots

There's some soft, breathy folk songs and the rap that Brian listens to in his headphones in the opening sequence but nothing other than that.

Boring Technical Crap

Written by: Matt Aselton and Adam Nagata

Directed by: Matt Aselton

Starring

Zooey Deschanel - Harriet 'Happy' Lolly

Susan Misner - Melanie Lolly

Leven Rambin - Missy Thaxton

Paul Dano - Brian Weathersby

John Goodman - Al Lolly

Bottom Line

Not worth seeing in the movies but a good rental if you're intrigued.

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